To dare, to dream, to win: November 2005

hmmm..

dunno what happen but sometimes i have no control over somethings.. let nature take it's course ba ... cherish what u have, b4 u lose it

watching the results of the superhost now.. kns, think looks still play a priority lor, where got F4 who can't talk well to get 1st in terms of vote one.. just that ppl dun want her out, cos really; think she look sweet.

time to on my engine...

went out today, yeah ktv.. supposed to be a enjoyable thing; well it is.. but what happen b4 that isn't. knn yday nite i try to order things online on emart..and it was lagging so i presume it's cos it's at nite and the system is sorta down, so this morning i tried again and well everything went on fine. i can ordered everything with almost no lag. but when i tried to get the order to be processed, i need to enter my password, but when i did, it say WRONG PIN!!

After trying a few times and it doesn't work, i decided to call them. last time my bro tried, also cannot. so i call them and they tell me to disable firewall and anti-popup programs, which i did. but i tried again and again still cannot. i ask fx and yc try also cannot. i tried IE, tried firefox, all the same. Ended up calling back like 4-5 times, think till the person sian; cos the final time i call, the person is another guy. i even call the other number but they give the same solution which dun work. therefore, after spending 2-3 hrs trying to solve that shit thingy, i still have to go down to buy.. shouldn't i feel pissed.. knn dunno they put the freaking password there for wat. fx told me last time he order he dun remember having that link. i mean when u login u really have to enter password, so is there a need for another?

Anyway cos of the shit, i arrived 1 hr late for ktv. haha.. this time sing is like after 3 mths; dun even know wat songs to choose :s... cos i always sing the same songs.. but this time got try some new ones.. today only sl, chun n yc come... poor lr go pluck wisdom and stupid chow wan to play WOW. went shopping at nite, well quite an enjoyable day except dunno why the whole nite chun must keep talking about that person.. did someone bribe u to keep talking about her? haha

just now played some lame games of dota.. it's time to concentrate on my last paper, which i must score...of cos dota will be a constant distraction but i shall try my best to play only at nite.. anyway think there will be no creator in the afternoon and adom say he not playing so think as long as i control myself will be ok.

anyway got some interesting quotes in relations to wat mh told me abt studying that day ba..

"A university is a place where society's leaders are created. But today some would say that universities produce nothing more than barbarians with knowledge -- that they are just factories that turn out robots who are obedient to authority. The crux lies not in what you study in college but what kind of person you become. If you turn into the sort of person who looks down on those who never had the opportunity to attend college, what possible use is all your learning? Universities exist precisely for the sake of those who weren't able to attend them" -- Daisaku Ikeda

"Education is a uniquely human privilege. It is the source of inspiration that enables us to become fully and truly human, to fulfill a constructive mission in life with composure and confidence."

haha

think my blog is changing focus.. instead of talking more about myself, think i got more guidances and extracts instead.. nvm, think it can't be too bad..

tmr going ktv..yeah, but i better concentrate on my final paper soon

anyway, my poor $280 specs has officially demised. think e side weakened under the stress of super glue and broke. And the plastic thingy for support on the nose is gone ( well, it broke tat time). by rite, this thing can be changed but didn't do it last time.. haiz. really should have replaced the side instead of putting superglue. but well, it's gone. so i better take good care of my new specs. but really, ppl only cherish things when they lose it. on fri when i go make new specs, i really can't find a specs as chio and as light as the one i wearing then. cos all e frameless there are also metal, while my frameless is plastic and so freaking light. but in the end i also heck care and choose a frameless with white metal. ok lar, quite "classy" though 旧爱还是最美 . .haha. and now i have to wear my blue plastic army specs.. yucks! haha.

=)

mh sent me this sms last nite after the dialogue in the afternoon.

"Present defeat can be a cause for future victory or defeat. t all depends on you to determine the next outcome. Important thing is to reflect on the past and focus on the future. Be courageous and move on confidently."

thanks!

hmm...

think i shouldn't think about anything at all. take it as i'm thinking too much..我管不着了。。。

just came home ..

yeah went for the skit rehearsal. meaningful trip there to tampines, though i nearly went to the wrong place.. nearly went to tbsc instead. whew..

why i say it's a meaningful trip. cos i find i need to find back my faith. it must have been falling through all the exams. had a dialogue with mh over studying and getting the degree. some of the things he said make perfect sense; that we are more fortunate than many other ppl ard and that studying is for the knowledge and to contribute to the society. yea, contribute to the society and to gakkai. that make perfect sense.

anyway, the skit we are going to perform is abt the story of 3 ppl who ran into problems and nearly committed suicide but lucky they came into the embrace of soka and solve their problem.i play a rather small role of being a doc.. haha. just talked abt 4 lines, but think performing in front of at least 1000 people is not sth u can see me doing last time .haha. anyway, think for our hq, we are honoured of getting jeff wang, wang jian fu, to share testimonal on that actual day, 10th dec. now then i know that he is one of our soka member and was even a ymd leader in taiwan. but too bad he is bonded by contract therefore he can't perform in person. Then today then i know there are 4 ppl in TCS who are from soka..hehe

anyway, whoever is interested in joining in the skit, cos there is still a shortage of ppl, whether acting or as backstage, or whoever is interested in watching the whole performance which includes other items as well, can tell me!

by the way, the superhost competitiom f2, emi, she's also a soka member. haha think she can go far in the competition. cos i see her b4 during YCF and she's in charge of the youth item. Think she's really wacky n funny. so watch out for her!

something meaningful..

"Just because someone has a high standing in the organization or status in society, that does not mean the person has faith. Someone who behaves arrogantly solely because he or she went to a prestigious school is the worst kind of person and is utterly lacking in character. Some people are flashy; some are modest. Some people have advanced degrees; some do not. Some people are wealthy; some are poor. While all people are different, the important question is who is truly happy." -- Daisaku Ikeda

...

today's exam. dun wan to say much. i was too slack. i went into the hall with totally the wrong mentality. dun wan to think abt it liao..

called e hotline again. finally my acct is activated. and decided to go for the rehearsal. to make up for not going for the gosho study today..

i must overcome all obstacles!!

yup supposed to be studying now but really can't absorb anything. shall take an extended break. really no comments about today's paper. really waste time studying for it yesterday, cos it's much much more than just understanding.. well everyone say it's difficult, which is true, but still i think those students with bio backgrd sure find it less difficult ba.. as for the rest, maybe tikam ba, but haiz, i hope i get rite for questions which others get rite also, and really hope i have all the luck to get the rest rite. the only consolation is that my CA got A, and it's 60%, so hopefully it can help me pull up. anyway, just now on the bus, the 2 buggers beside me n zh must still go discuss individuals ans. i recognise one of them, who was still talking about thermo midterm like 2 weeks after the test during a lecture. GOSH

quite pissed over the stupid ICT. it's giving me hell load of trouble + problem. this morning, someone call me and woke me up saying my emart acct was activated but just now tried to login but it prompted me for password after which an error screen appeared.. arrgh gonna call them again, tmr? or mon? see my mood lar, sucks lar...

just now minghui called me, asking me to play a role in a skit for the youth GM... hmmm it's on the 10th dec, just days b4 my ict. well tat's why i feeling very sian lar. and it will probably take up some time off my already short hols for the rehearsal n stuff. and another thing is having to perform in front of a super big crowd of a few hundreds i suppose. ok lar i will cfm qie chang, but that's not the point. see how ba, as mh say, i really need to challenge myself. yes i do, that's why i trying to have a positive attitude towards ict liao. i will overcome it.. but 1st, overcome my exam tmr.

"Before you complain, chant daimoku."

"Before you criticize, perfect yourself."

"Before you torture yourself, talk with your seniors."

"Before you worry, practise." -- Daisaku Ikeda

haiz..

another late nite.. my bio clock really screwed. must tune it back starting from sat. i should have endured longer instead of reinstalling my DOTA. tmd the stupid cd was supposed to be spoilt but yet i choose not to believe but tried another time and it worked.

Anyway think i not planning to slp tmr liao, cos at 1st supposed to revise FM tonite, but of cos i decided that it's better to read my biochem again. so tmr i have almost 75% of FM to revise.. clap for me ba. stupid DOTA. should stop wasting my time on that pointless game. think i should go find a gf n it should have been more meaningful.. lol

anyway, with a pathetic 1 week b4 the shit begins, my self-declared non-official hols will start this fri. go cut hair + buy cd, and hopefully i will be in the mood to go for Gosho study, but even that i will not be having enuff slp, shall see how also. Then sat, sun should be staying at home playing the interesting game and hopefully mon can go ktv!!! since almost everyone's exam is over. Tue n wed can stay home study, and of cos shall study on sat n sun also

i need all the luck for tmr n fri's paper. esp fri. must concentrate!

" Nichiren Daishonin says," One day of life is more valuable than all the treasures of the major world system." Therefore, it is important that we make the most of each and every day." --Daisaku Ikeda

Guidance today...

was supposed to post sth b4 i slp but well i slp at 7am.. thanks to dota.. but gd thing is, i fell aslp immediately. woke up at close to 2pm though..

was the feeling gone, or maybe it doesn't exist at all in the 1st place?

"As human beings, we must continuallly advance. And we must do so with a sense of purpose. Of course, we will inevitably experience failure and make mistakes along the way. Such times are opportunities to self-reflect. Without self-reflection, we cannot progress. However, self-reflection is not the same as regret, even though they are often confused. Nothing can come of regret. Self-reflection leads to advancement." -- Founding President Makiguchi

wanted to write sth..

but maybe tmr ba.. indulging in games these 3 days.. i aim to play just 1-2 hrs tmr, the max.. and maybe not at all... suddenly feel like what i was doing for the past few exams.. ok that's bad..

1 hr max tmr....or not at all. Looks like i really find it hard to accept some defeats.

And the knn thing that affect me this morning is a sms for callup AGAIN. woke me up. tmd, at 1st i thought it's briefing for ICT but ended up to be vocational training b4 ICT. that time also. received an sms, thought it's asking me go for briefing for mob but ended up to be ICT.

HAIZ, my already short hols is even shorten. knn ICT must come when i got 2 wedding dinners to attend, one of which is my cousin's. now no need liao lor. and i was supposed to take the entrance exam.. can take next time liao lor .. and the vocational training is 2 days. think must stay in. knn. also dunno must bring what for the 2 days. think i'm the 1st person in my unit to get recalled for ICT, they should forget about me lar, pay a 3sg must pay more, so they shd just forget abt 3sg. only GOOD thing to look forward to is getting paid, erm, the pathetic approx $20 a day. not bad, got food got shelter. better than getting nth. except go back for VT must get IV.. sucks

Anyway, enuff of the kb-ing.. haha. The following guidance is really nice. Maybe i shd send it to yl.

"Problems are proof that we are alive. They are also the source of all growths and progress. We have to use our problems and suffering as the energy or fuel for propelling towards us torwards even greater happiness in the future."

hmm..

tired..a mind sapping exam.. didn't do anything the whole nite... start from tmr ba... hopefully i can concentrate ..

just got scolded just now for playing game. zz need to destress wat.. i didn't play for 1 mth ok ?

.....

I must be awoken to some crap this morning.. keeping my cool for now..

time now is..

4:52.. thanks to 4-5 hrs of .. u know wat lar..

"The time is now. If you miss the opportunity, the loss is yours. The more time passes, the more you'll regret not making the most of the moment when you had it. Please, do not miss the opportunity before you. The time is now. I hope you'll realize the crucial importance of this present time -- for the sake of the endless future of kosen-rufu as well as for your own eternal victory." -- Daisaku Ikeda

It seems like this guidance is just rite for me.. before the slacking goes really out of hand...

I will do it!!

...actually went to slp liao, but once again can't slp immediately, think maybe i'm suffering from insomnia. An end to a "fun"day. yeah.. fun as in really fun and fun, in the other sense.

Was supposed to study, or at least try to.. but ended up reinstalling dota. i know i shouldn't, at least not now, but i just did it. well, as least for me, putting down a unjust defeat is definitely not easy. Unjust in the sense, i dunno wtf i thinking just now but i know i probably deserved it for not getting myself prepared earlier yday. But i have to pick myself up. If i can encourage other ppl, i must win it myself

"If roots of faith are strong and deep in our lives, even the most powerful minds of opposition will not topple us. but if those roots are weak, we'll be failed by the slightest breeze. The key to realizing great victory in any endeavor is to stnad up, to struggle and to win based on faith." -- Daisaku Ikeda

The next battle with myself has just began, tmr will be a day for me to strive for it.. i changed the motto of the blog too, think this will suit me more, to stop thinking about the past, now that i have found my mission

the encouragement just came in time..

Sensei's guidances, " To My Friends''

October 12, 2005--TO MY FRIENDS--The opponent with whom you need to compete is the you of yesterday.Let's advance step by step,today more than yesterday,tomorrow more than today.

NOVEMBER 5, 2005--TO MY FRIENDS--In life, be upbeat and confident!This was my mentor's cry.Youth, with an upbeat and confident attitude,resolutely and thoroughly take the offensive and win!

November 9, 2005--TO MY FRIENDS--The Daishonin says,"So the battle goes on eventoday."(*)Let us, too, burn with aspirit of challenge.Let's not forget our fighting spirit.

(*)"On Practicing the Buddha's Teachings," WND p. 392

November 16, 2005--TO MY FRIENDS--[The gosho says,]"The voice carries out the work of the Buddha"(*)The voice of the Mystic Law reverberates across the universe.Thus, infused with joy, the protective forceswill serve to protect you, one and all.

haizz ..

trying hard to put it down.. i think the lack of slp the day b4 had taken a serious toil on me. and i can't accept the carelessness which came back to me today. Probably cos i was tired, was drifting away, can't think properly.

Had a sleep but still feeling tired, no mood to do anything today but i knew i had to pick myself up. Mon is a super impt battle, where winning is the only way out. I can nv fail, not again...

haiz..

no luck today... sob sob

i can't believe 5 marks for being trying to be smart but smart halfway, and many more for dunno wth i doing End result = sian.. hope for the best. Let me encourage myself with a guidance!!

" "Try is a little word, but big things -- victory and glory -- can be found within it. The sight of someone trying, no matter what obstacles he faces, no matter what the circumstances are, is the sight of victory itself."

oh no..

tonite no need slp liao.. big mouth.. talked too much, should've zao from msn earlier.. now i have to fully utilise my "image memory" to memorise everything..lucky the exam's in the afternoon

"To struggle against hardship is the direct path to our personal development and elevating our state of life. It is a springboard that leads to our human revolution. Life and faith are like an obstacle race. Overcoming each obstacle is a source of joy." -- Daisaku Ikeda

hehe..

whew.. a good start.. slp at 130am yday but dunno try to slp for more than 3 hrs.. in e end think i fall aslp at only 5 am.. and its less than 2 hrs of slp.. but luckily, with daughter luck n protection of the gohonzon ba.. i managed to finish it long b4 time.. =)

today i found the hazard of tall ppl.. not hazard to the tall people but to the rest.. lol.. today was in the mrt, on the way to sch... i feeling tired and the mrt is crowded. so when the mrt reach clementi, got some other ger going out too, so i let her go 1st. then i follow behind and on the way out, got a middle aged man and when i moved past him, i think i hit him on his chin. why i know it, cos that man go complain to his wife. OK, i think it's not complain, think he's cursing @#!#%!, that guy hit me. ok he is not cursing. he is whining.. omg, i didn't do it on purpose ok? it's not my fault that i'm tall ok ??

hmmm

.. i said sth wrong?

"It is important for you not to be defeated by the environment. You mustn't lose faith in yourself. Each of you has a mission in this lifetime that only you can fulfil. Each of you has a life that only you can live and create something of value of. Whatever else you may doubt, please do not doubt this." -- Daisaku Ikeda

hehe

think yday someone told me "one sms per day keeps YL happy".. i think u are rite =)

"You cannot do a perfect job without expanding 200 or 300 times the ordinary amount of effort. It means taking spirited action and not neglecting anything. It means putting our whole heart and being into the task at hand. Victory lies in this continuous struggle. Without such efforts, we cannot truly forge great lives." -- Daisaku Ikeda

1 more day to the all important battle... must spend the day wisely.

hehe..

sian.. freaking tired.. slp at 3+ yday, ohz ya, think i can't slp till 4..anyway woke up at 10 today but feel darn tired. then at 11+ i go slp, wake up at 1230 but still tired, concussed till 2pm.. ok lar, i lack the will power, zhou gong likes me.. haiz

slp at 5 for sun -tue n 4 yday.. wat to do rite?

hehe, just now i hear a female version of 痴心绝对.. not as powerful as 李圣杰's of cos, think the singer's from china, anyway the song sound as nice.. maybe it's just the song, really nice.. 痴心绝对

"为你付出那种伤心你永远不了解,我又何苦勉强自己爱上你的一切. 你又狠狠逼退,我的防备, 静静关上门来默数我的泪."

Hmm..

came up with the decision to monitor my leg for a few days then see how... haha ok lar.. just plain lazy to make the trip all the way to sch.. far leh. Anyway it's just bit swollen, not much pain if left alone, a bit pain when walking.. sounds alrite huh? =)

today my bro ROM, haha, hope he will have a blissful marriage.. well, i mean, he definitely will have.. so concidental, his wife's bro or my brother-in-law was my camp mate, i mean same unit.. haha..

hmm, maybe i thinking too much, shall let things go naturally, rite?

Wanted to post an extract from guidance today but decided to post the one which KK send me via sms

"Let's make mighty and tenacious efforts towards our goals, If we continue without giving up, the doors to victory will open without fail."

ok..

i'm still feeling the pain..

this dun bode well... =(

stupid..

ignore my previous post..

nothing WILL happen to me..

yeah if it's a fracture, why can i walk..

i got the protection of the Gohonzon...

NOTHING will happen to me

I'm in trouble..

big trouble..

my shin's red and swollen..

i think i kena fracture...

dunno what to do..

Arrgh!!..

i broke my earphone wire.. well done. it was found twisted on my bed. sadly, it must have been under a lot of stress. the culprit is unknown, but i know i am responsible for it =(

There goes my nice nice earphone... looks like i have to buy an ugly cheapo black one.. yucks

After exams, i sure i'm going to list down all my bad points and i gonna do my human revolution. i gotta change all the freaking bad points.. hopefully 1 page can list finish all hor.. =p

yawn..hehe..

feeling a bit tired.. but cannot slp now!! i just woke up at 11pm! lol

i dunno how things will turn out to be. .or what will be the outcome, but i know that it has happened.. what ya say?

"Faith is the force for eternal victory. Every hardship, every struggle will transform and shine as good fortune and benefit. Live out your life true to who you truly are."

hehe...

can't believe a ywd sms me to ask me if i'm ok...

last wed, supposed to have daimokukai but becaused i'm sick so nv go..meihui sms me, supposed to ask a favour from me, but i no chance to help her; instead she heard me say i'm sick. Then today, she actually smsed me to ask me if i'm ok... a small gesture but a nice one =).. esp now that it's exam, everyone is bz with their own stuff, if u can care for someone during this period, it's really all the more 难得。。

hmmm

if the person i wish to chat to is not online, why stay online?

"What is true success in life? It means winning in your battle with yourself." -- Daisaku Ikeda

haiz..

ok the show's korean not jap.. anyway in the end e wife still died.. why such a sad show?? -_-

lol..

was supposed to be studying.. but then.. was eating biscuits and saw a nice show on tv.. a jap show, where the pregant wife got stomach cancer i think, but nv tell the husband. think the wife got a choice to abort the baby and live on but she dun wan.. hmm hopefully it will not be a sad ending..

haiz..

bit angry with myself for wasting time.. supposed to study but obvious i wasn't ...

remember : i'm not keeping the promise to myself..

arrgh.. try harder. wanted to blog something but decided i'm not in the mood to. Instead another guidance for the new day will definitely be more appropriate..

"Life is making practical efforts. It is challenging ourselves. It is advancing. Your youth never comes again. Please leave behind some achievement, please create something, as a record of your existence in this world." -- Daisaku Ikeda

very meaningful, for me and for u

Yawn...

1hr 15 min to go.. i'm hungry again!! actually thinking of it, maybe i shdn't have purchased the medicine..i dun feel any pain now!! ok maybe u can say it's the effect of the medicine, but seriously i doubt so, anyway i read that the aftereffect pain might affect only those elder ppl.. and paying $111 for the medicine is seriously freaking ex.. but oh well, buy also buy liao, eat also eat liao.. money can earn back but life can't buy back...

anyway, why suddenly half of my notes disappeared?!! arrgh

thanks..

really must thanks jason for coming to my house to hand me the exam guidance... all the way from marine parade he come to woodlands just to give me that... such a cic is really nan de. After hearing all he say, i really must study harder, else really dui bu qi them...
anyway since i got the exam guidance, i will post a guidance a day; hopefully can motivate u guys!

"Challenge all difficulties with determination and composure. Those who persevere with unflagging passion and enthusiasm always win in the end. In contrast, those who give up and stop trying out of fear only wind up unhappy."
-- Daisaku Ikeda

look at the time now..

good morning everyone!! =)

was supposed to stay awake till 3am cos i forget to eat my medicine early... then dunno why ended up chatting with chun abt our old sec sch days for sec 3 n 4 in chinese high... lol.. chatted for one hour, about the insane things our class did. 没说还真忘了 last time really did so much unbelivable things.. maybe cos it's reall a Guys sch.. maybe next time got time i will blog down.. or anyone interested can ask me next time.. lol

a question..

to all ppl who are attached.. do u plan to marry ur current bf/gf?

to all unattached ppl... when u get a bf/gf, do u plan to marry him/her?

was feeling lost..

and dun feel like doing anything..

thought over many things when i was doing my gongyo... guess i will always have the regret when i didn't join soka a year earlier.

of cos, even at that time mh did call me to go for activities, i wun have gone; cos there is supposedly no problems in my life. was thinking what happened to me the past year, to bring me into the current predicament. i know why, but dun think i will put it here.. guess i was just plain dumb..

Now all the pressure's on me to do well. i will definitely have gave up if it's the old me. For now, i'm still holding on. i guess that it's nv easy to change for the better but at least it's better to try my best than have any regrets later on. at least i knew i tried.

anyway, feel much better after doing my gongyo. onward i go

there goes my specs..

my $280 specs haiz..

all my fault for not taking of it and after 1 year 3 mths, it's gone.. should have spend $50 to replace the side instead of listening to my mum and using super glue to mend it.. well done.. now have to replace the whole thing :S

yeah..

pain subsided; the scabs nearly dropped off liao, or at least i peeled it off muhaha...

can the story continue? wait n see

缘分..

是个很奇妙的东西.. 难道你不觉得吗？

oh well...

still feeling the pain, but what can i do??

"One's true worth as a human being is not a matter of outward appearance or
title but derives rather from the breadth of one's spirit. Everything comes down
to faith and conviction. It is what is in one's heart and the substance of one's
actions that count." -- Daisaku Ikeda

-_-

lacking slp.. slp from 330- 530.. mistake. shd have slpt more.. hopefully i can post some nice and meaningful passages here later...

Zzzz...

yawn..checking m i w just now . my acct still not activated yet... darn super inefficient.. the training program also not up yet.. i shall wait another week to see if it's up and see if my account is activated b4 i really call them.

but i saw sth really.. erm.. of the 200+ who took the ippt during last year ict, think only 6 golds and less than half of the number passed. hopefully i can be one of those 6 .. haha .. long time nv run but i believe i will get the gold!! $400 leh.. who dun wan!!

was doing some survey at soccernet.. pay $15 for each match live online?? wth?! i might as well watch a really LIVE one if i'm in england.. and i believe the $15 is not S$... even the option of $25 for unlimited is still abt the same if i pay for SCV.. ok lar.. overseas the cost of living is higher but pay at that price?? forget it

sian ah..

suffering from bouts of throbbing headaches these days.. or isit just my mind playing a fool? i dun think so.. must be my illness..and of cos the occasional stinging pain..

this exam is different from the past few, i feel i'm not slacking as much as last time, at least i deleted my wc, but then i feel that others are 100 x more hardworking than me ... a common problem, difficulty concentrating esp with my headache hitting me. not considering the fatigue i'm going through........ focus..

arrgh i better dun disturb other ppl in the middle of the nite with my sms.. u know who u are =p.. if i sms u again, just ask me to shut up.. gd for us both haha

Yes, it's back...

i posted this very meaningful translated poem last time and decided to post it again... cos it's really very nice.. here it is

"Each day is a treasure.

NO! Each moment is an irreplaceable treasure!

Now, if there is 1 hour, I can encourage many of my dear friends or write down speeches to encourage others.

If there are 30 min available, i can conduct very meaningful dialogues.

If there are just 5 min, I can write and give calligraphy to comrades who are fighting vigorously.

If there is 1 min left, I can convey a message to a comrade who is struggling.

And if there is just 1 second, I can encourage another person using eye contact.

Therefore, I have made up my mind to live each and everyday meaningfully.

Live this moment thoroughly and win no matter what!!" - Daisaku Ikeda

Translated from SGI newsletter

From guidance today..

Happiness is not something bestowed on us by others or that comes from
somewhere outside us. It is something that we ourselves must gain, with
our own hearts. As Nichiren Daishonin says,"It is the heart that is
important."(WND, p 1000)

hmm

watching 2002 now.. so 顺便 blog.. thanks for all the ppl who showed concern for me; shi hong,quan zhang, song kun, shuping, xing you and chow.

sian, i wan to go for wed's daimokukai.. but think i dun have the chance liao, cannot risk the health of other people..

Anyway, now the 2002 at a 感人part; basically the message is to cherish things u have and do things before it's too late and can only regret.

Lastly, to my 女儿: all the best for ur maths tmr.. u can do it!! =)

sick..

given 2 week mc.. song bo.. and i going to have fever soon i suppose..based on faith, i will overcome this!

Sian..

spend $30 earlyin the morning..cos the stupid hook of the metal piece of my braces come out.. but not my fault lor.. who ask the stupid hook to face down and i have to ply it up....in the end, the whole thing broke.. kns.. pay for it ... yawn. Anyway, 算了, since i got too much money dunno where to spend also.. lol

Meaningful trip..

yeah learnt lots of things and dunno where i got the courage to talk so much, though i feel its quite crap. lol.. anyway shall share sth next time.. and really need to concentrate, must chant for the wisdom and lifeforce to concentrate...

Bad nite...

stupid rash, make me wake up dunno how many times. so itchy yet pain when i scratch it, not to mention the pain on my arm.. affected my mood .. argh

Happy..

in chinese, it is "开心" .. taking it literally, 开= open 心= heart.. so to be happy = open ur heart!

A nice day...

had a fun time just now, had much luff, mark sure talk alot.. he say he was very quiet last time.. erm.. really can't tell huh..

Exams coming, at this time when everyone is stressed and bz with their own stuff, is it possible to motivate others.. i must do sth along this line!

hmm

trying my best to work hard.. occasionally distracted.. bo bian, but well, left few slides to finish the notes for organic.. b4 i start to memorise all the boring stuff..biochem however is a tough nut to crack and start, dunno how i'm going to overcome the inertia and fear to start it.. cheered up by the occasional sms =)

anyway, everyone do take care n work hard ok? 你(们) 再等什么,时间已经不多..

A meaningful extract i feel...

"Buddhism is concerned with the present and the future. Instead of looking back at the past, we should always live our lives gazing from the present towards the future. No matter what great things we may have achieved in the past, we must not allow ourselves, now or in the future, to become people who succumb to criticism and complaint, to stray from the correct path, and cause trouble to our fellow members and the SGI as a whole. For if we do so, we will become losers."

Bad day

haiz.. shouldn't have gone out huh.. nothing seems rite after i stepped out of my house.. and it got worse. so bad that i take out my notes on the mrt and put it back after 5 min.. maybe it's the exam stress... my progress seem super slow.. though i know some of you are still clearing ur webcasts, i feel that i still got lots to catch up. Anyway, today, i was in such a lousy mood to even voice out anything, just kept quiet... thought i can come back feeling better but it didn't.. But nvm, tmr nite i still have daimokukai and sat afternoon to sun noon, overnite kenshu.. i must definitely use these 2 events to get over the rough path and to overcome my lousy mood... i must get myself hyped up to finish the final journey, a long one but one that i must finish and win!

Not me only but everyone of u, my frends! Anyway, a very meaningful piece of extract from Today's Guidance:

" A person may have all the wealth and treasure in the world, but viewed from
the perspective of the ultimate reality of life, such things are but mere
illusions. We cannot carry them with us into the next existence. The most
important thing is to build an indestructible "palace of happiness" within our
own life. That is the purpose of Buddhism and of Buddhist practice."

Current song: Hebe's <<替我爱你>> ..loving this song!

算了...

since things aren't in the bad state, shall leave it as it is....

accessing the situation...

evaluating...

knowing...

The most unlucky day of my life...

now i know the meaning of "祸不单行".. being real unlucky unrecently and nv expect it to peak, of all days, today. How lucky can u get to have like 10 unlucky things hitting u?

1) wrote the equations for the lab under the wrong part and have to reprint that few pages.
2) trying to pull out a staple bullet when the thing poke into my hand and bleed like hell.
3) scratch my hand by dunno wat

4) realised i forget to staple one sheet of my lab after i edit and reprint it, and have to take bus from engine to sci and back to engine again, and that was like 5 min after i just step into engine

5) bought 4 pens today and realised only 1 was left. 3 of them obviously dropped out of my pocket when i was sitting on the shuttle bus

6) drop my mp3 player when i was pulling by the wire of the earphone to take it out

7) should have scored for my ess test but ended in a bad state of mind to think properly.. ok maybe i'm just tired and not cos of luck. but then, this is one of the only test when i was quite stunned when i go in.. oh well

8) was mending my specs with superglue, elephant brand, and it has to freaking drip on my finger, and it is still on my finger now, cos i nv manage to remove it

9) and because i'm in a hurry to wash my fingers, i nv stick my specs properly and now it's in a freaking bad shape. now i have to wait till the superglue to lose its ability b4 i can restick again.. well done..

10) no number 10 and i hope there isnt one.. a bad enuff day for me. u wun wan me to have a tenth ok ?

OK correction, there IS a no. 10.. my hp display black out again. using my cmi old phone while waiting for it to recover.. waiting

hmmm.

blog so much these days.. bit lost.

but i know. it's time for me to really disappear.

havent really done that. havent got into the mood yet.

but at least, starting to. gotta concentrate. the rest can wait.

well, after tmr, almost everything shd be done, except well one more big shit, which i shall do next week i suppose. going out on thurs n fri nite. i believe i can get renewed faith and energy out of it. i will n i must. till then..

Story of the one-inch boy.. from dialogue with hope series

Ikeda :You might know the Japanese children story of The One-inch Boy. He wanted to be big. He wanted to be strong. He wanted to impress the princess. When the demon attacked the princess, the one-inch boy fought with all his might, holding off the demon with his sword made from a needle and protecting the princess. He was ready to defend her to the death. But the demon just picked him up and swallowed him.

Shiratsuchi: But the demon just picked him up and swallowed him.

Ikeda: But still the one-inch boy didn't give up. He ran around the demon's stomach, sticking him with his needle.

Shiratsuchi: The demon started screaming in pain, spat the one-inch boy out, and ran away in terror.

Ikeda: And the demon left behind his famous magic mallet. The mallet made wishes come true. The princess asked the one-inch boy what his wish was and swung the mallet for him. Having wished to be big, the one-inch boy immediately grew to full size. He and the princess later married.
Now let us ask ourselves a few questions. What does the demon symbolize? How about the magic mallet? And who is the one-inch boy?

Maekawa: Well, he's certainly not just a short person.

Ikeda: That's right. I think he stands for a person bothered by a sense of inferiority, a person who doesn't think very highly of himself. The demon represents the harsh reality bearing down on the person, or perhaps the person's feeling of inferiority itself.

Maekawa: That means that the one-inch boy's battle against the demon is his conquest of his own feeling of inferiority!

Ikeda: Some psychologists have suggested as much. The one-inch boy didn't just sit there wallowing in self-pity, he fought the demon with all his might and as soon as he did that, the demon ran away, and the one-inch boy's wish to be big came true.

The magic mallet is representative of one's own strength of will, the determination not to give up, to go on fighting. If you use that force of will, you can achieve anything. You can become a big, big person.
To tell the truth, it's actually quite a luxury to have time to compare yourself to others and suffer feelings of inferiority or superiority. In a life and death situation, you don't have time for any of that. You just have to put all of your energy into surviving. At such times, a person's spirit, a person's life, brings forth incredible power.

Shiratsuchi: Life force is the magic mallet, then.

Ikeda:You all have your own magic mallet. You're the one who decides if you're going to use it or not.
If you have the time and energy to sit around fretting and worrying about your supposed faults, it would be far better to spend that time and energy doing things you can do or are good at. In other words, working on realizing your full potential.

Those who can do that are the true victors. They won't have feelings of inferiority or superiority. They won't envy others or look down on them. They will be warm and friendly to everyone they come into contact with. They are able to live a life as clear and bright as the blue skies.n other words, working on realizing your full potential.
Those who can do that are the true victors. They won't have feelings of inferiority or superiority. They won't envy others or look down on them. They will be warm and friendly to everyone they come into contact with. They are able to live a life as clear and bright as the blue skies.

To dare, to dream, to win

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